Why I will be bedazzling myself some earmuffs for this coming summer

I am afraid. I mean, very afraid. Some people say I have an “irrational fear” of moths. I say to them, “are you consistently and systematically attacked by moths?” Okay then.

Sneaking out  is where my story of rational fear of moths begins. I opened my window to sneak out one night and a big-AZZ moth flew at my head. My face. My person. It looked like this:

big AZZ moth

This is what the big-AZZ moth that attacked me looked like. Thank you The Jones Edition, for this pic.

Shaken to my core, I managed to muffle my screams and sneak out anyway. But that moth left a dusty mark on my young soul. And since then, as I previously mentioned, I have been consistently and systematically been attacked by moths. Just ask anyone and they will tell you. It’s as if I have a halo of light around my pretty little head that these moths just can’t resist. I say to them, “don’t go toward the light!” They don’t  listen. Because they want to eat me.

So last might my sister told me a story that further rocked me to my core. She calmly and gently instructed me to put both hands on the wheel – yeah, I was driving and talking but my quiet conversation time is limited to when I’m in the car alone. But anyway.

She says, “Are you emotionally and physically ready for this? This was going to be a doozy.

I say, “yes, OMG, what is going on?

“Do not say anything until I finish my sentence.” She begins to laugh.

“So, this guy I work with – his aunt – she had to go to the emergency room because a moth flew into her ear. And it wouldn’t stop flopping around. And she couldn’t get it out.”

“OMFG.”

At this point I am filled with nothing but shock and nervous laughter. I mean, I didn’t even know this was a possibility. HOW DID THIS NEVER OCCUR TO ME? Can they crawl in your ears at night? Kinda like how we all eat 8 spiders every year? Which is not true, by the way.

I have been researching this shizz all morning, and there is very little information on the subject of moths crawling in ears, mouths, or noses, specifically.

I did, however, run into a couple of humorous stories on gawker.com, which is now my new favorite website. One story is about a moth flying into the ear of a cardinals outfielder Matt Holliday. The other is about a moth crawling into the ear of a 12-year old by, and what you should do if, or WHEN this happens to you.  What caught my attention about this article when browsing my Google search results was the line “we now have a clear protocol on what to do when a moth crawls into your ear.” Thank you, higher power. This is EXACTLY what I’m looking for, right!? Well, not exactly, but I’m sure glad I found it. You can thank me later for those tasty tidbits.

I still have not found any concrete numbers on the frequency of moth-ear infestations. If anyone can point me in the right direction that would be great. In the meantime, since we know what to do if it happens, I need to formulate a plan to take preventative measures, because this is sure to happen to me. So, I have decided I need to make homemade bedazzled earmuffs. Hello, form AND function! BA-LING! I LOVE YOU SO! I really need to get on this because there is only approximately 6-months until full-on moth season in Upstate New York!

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About Laine

Elaine GriffinElaine Griffin (a.k.a. Laine) is a freelance WordPress designer, content creator, and speaker. She brings her background as a sociologist, advocate, and educator, to her work and her writing, which has been featured on BlogHer and The SITS Girls. On The Laine List she spills her guts about life, motherhood, and balancing work and family. She also sprinkles in some fun recipe and cocktail posts. On Elaine Griffin Designs, she writes easy to follow tutorials about WordPress, social media, SEO, and blogging.
Working from her home office in Finger Lakes Region of NY, Elaine, a wine lover, also enjoys the beauty of living in wine country! Read more about Elaine...

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Comments

  1. My husband has an irrational fear of moths. He’s a big guy, tall, strong, etc. But totally loses it when a wee little moth gets anywhere near him. It’s REALLY hard not to laugh at him about this, but he will be comforted to know he’s not alone :) Great post!

    • Thanks Desi! Tell your husband I will hook him up with some bedazzled earmuffs – we who are afraid of moths must stick together!

  2. Karen Sandoval says:

    this is the moth that flew in your window? that is a cecropia moth, so beautiful. they don’t eat people, they are only moths long enough to mate, lay eggs. they spend most of their time as big green caterpillars.

    i understand your fear, i feel the same about spiders

    • I am trying to see their beauty Karen! I know they don’t eat people, but it sure feels like they are after me!

  3. cotewrites says:

    Thanks so much for discovering my blog and saying hello, Laine! I think bedazzled earmuffs are definitely the way to go come moth season. You could even kick the fabulousness up a notch and make them leopard-print, bedazzled earmuffs. ;) I can totally relate to this kind of ‘irrational fear,’ by the way. For me this involves a fear of parrots. I’m not quite sure, why but I am deathly afraid of these talking birds; I jump a mile any time I see or even hear one. If bedazzled earmuffs protected against parrot attacks, I would be rocking them year-round. :) Have a great, moth-free evening! -Jennifer

    • Hi Jennifer – thanks for stopping by! I might have to go with just wild animal print earmuffs, as it turns out. It has come to my attention that the reflective nature of the bling may actually ATTRACT the moths. I’m always one step behind! As far as parrots, I think you are FULLY justified. They are relatively large, potentially unpredictable, and if provoked, may mock you. You need earmuffs!!

  4. You’ve got an excellent site. I really enjoyed to visit it. I thank you for all that you share with us here. I’ll come again and again to see what’s new.

  5. Hi, i think that i saw you visited my blog so i came to “return the favor”.I’m attempting to find things to enhance my website!I suppose its ok to use a few of your ideas!!

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  1. [...] here you get Crazy Eyeris, Laine the horrible, no good, very bad mommy, bedazzaler of earmuffs, and mocker of Fashion week. (By the way, Crazy Eyeris is making an appearance soon, I promise!) [...]

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