I guess maybe I should have taken a picture of myself, huh?
My first open skating session before Freshmeat workshops begin is exactly one week away. ILWR offers two open skate sessions prior to Freshmeat workshops. During these sessions I will learn basics such as form, falls, stops, and strength training.
The next time I write about Crazy Eyeris, I will be heading off to skate that night. And now I’m more excited than nervous.
As you all know I’ve been worried about my skating (in)abilities, but of course you know I was pro-active about the situation.
Crazy Eyeris meets shit head-on, and she dares you to get in her way.
So we packed up our kidlets on Saturday, and drove an hour to a skating rink so I could skate.
It was pretty awesomeballz.
I fell once. Right on my ass. But I did not allow myself to be upset or embarrassed. Every one falls, and Crazy Eyeris doesn’t give a shit what anyone thinks.
But I can skate. Not what I would say well, but I can skate.
It was a little bit frustrating at first – there were a lot of really obnoxious kids bobbing and weaving in front of me the whole time. But that’s good practice, right? And soon enough, I left thoughts of prepping for derby behind and just had fun skating with my family.
I love the feeling of gliding along the floor. Controllably out of control.
The boy skated, and has been bitten by the skating bug. He wants to go back next week, which I think we will. Only three more years until he’s old enough for Junior Derby!!
I’m slowly but surely giving up the need to be super awesome the moment I arrive at the open skating next week. Just tryin’ to be real, it ain’t happening, and that’s okay.
And really, when I stop to think about it, the pure fact that I am doing this makes me super awesome. The ILWR skaters are kind and loving sisters who are going to kick my ass. Derby love.
Crazy Eyeris can’t wait to feel the love of a good derby girl beating.
When I was in high school I played the trumpet. Next to me sat Simon. Quiet, slightly shy, so super nice, amazing musician Simon. Simon, who is now a Grammy award-winner. Yeah!
Simon used to listen to his Walkman (who didn’t!) and would share what he was listening to. He introduced me to Melanie. He had an album-to-tape recording, which he happily passed on to me to copy. Classic! Ahhh, the good old days!
I’ve been singing “Brand New Key” around my house since Christmas, when my mother gave me the check to get skates. Ben hates me so much! Although now HE wants a pair of skates too.
Well, guess what Melanie?! I’ve got a brand new pair of roller skates too! And it came with a brand new key!
Let me tell you a little about these babies. They are fast. They are heavy. They are totally fucking AWESOME! When I brought them home I immediately put them on and started, well, I’m not going to go as far as to say I was rolling. I was more like balancing around. But within a few minutes I was wishing I had a little more runway than the ten feet across my kitchen floor. By the time I took them off, I felt more awkward out of them than I did in them. An amazing sign that I’m on the right path.
I think I might be in love. In love with leather and aluminum, silently working those muscles I didn’t even know I had.
And with that soreness, I’m totally pumped and motivated. Because that physical soreness is easing an emotional soreness that has been festering for too long.
I have to admit, though, behind all of this excitement I’m still really scared. Scared of not being able to skate well. Scared of not having any skillz at all. Scared of getting hurt. But part of why I want to write this series is to face these fears and meet this challenge helmet to helmet.
I need a battle cry.
Do you have a battle cry? A motto or affirmation you say to yourself when you are met with a challenge?
That’s my Derby alter-ego. If I make the team.
I’m trying out next year. Going to train and soak in as much Derby as I can in the meantime. I am beyond excited. Scared. Overwhelmed.
Overwhelmed with the support that my family has shown. I thought it was something I would want to do, but oh man, the time commitment with a young family? I don’t know. When we went to our first bout, my husband and son both looked at me and said, in some sort of version, “you need to do this!”
My mother, bless her heart, said, “You need to do this. It’s the OLD YOU!” And so she is buying me my first pair of skates.
And it is the old me. I used to be an athlete. Soccer in the fall. Basketball in the winter. Track in the spring. All the swimming and bike riding possible in the summer, not to mention sports camps.
I was never great at any one sport. Good, but not great. But I was proud of me, proud of what my body could do. I was not afraid of pain (physical or emotional) and I was not afraid to get hurt. Diving, sliding, hitting balls with my body, hitting people with my body, giving me the cuts, bruises, and floor burn to prove it.
But then life happened. And now I’m a different person, but the same person, desperately ready to reclaim a part of me that many people don’t know anymore. Someone they never knew, but that I would like for them to love. A woman who’s strength my son can admire. A woman who’s strength my daughter can also achieve.
And then there is me with this very real need to move this body and feel better. So what better way to be super motivated but the prospect of trying out for our local Derby league. Listen people, I am not capable of being a person who could just go try out without number one being in super-shape, and number two not being able to skate circles around the other “fresh meat” wannabes. Nothing personal if you not afraid to do that. In fact, I respect your fearlessness. I just can’t go in not ready to roll.
Next week is right around the corner. The fitness plan is being formulated. And the only thing that will make my heart happier than training and dreaming and soaking in the support of my family and friends is being known as Crazy Eyeris next year.
Do you have a huge goal set for next year? Is there a part of yourself you want to reclaim and have the people in your life know?