On Kegels, Vagina Dentata, Vaginal Weights, and Squats

Cosmopolitan (magazine)I was probably 12 or 13 when Cosmopolitan Magazine first taught me about my pelvic floor. Well, more accurately, they taught me about kegels, and how all women should be doing them to strengthen their pelvic floor, and also their vaginas! A pelvic floor should be strong. And so should our vaginas!

Shhhh, don’t tell anyone, but a strong vagina is the secret to pleasing YOUR MAN!!

Wait, what? Like, Vagina Dentata?

No, that would be too scary! Plus that is just some sort of weird, paranoid male fantasy and/or guilt complex.

Although I do find Vagina Dentata fascinating in a witnessing  a horrific accident kind of way. Have you ever seen the movie “Teeth?” It’s a gem – run, don’t walk to find it on Netflix today!


Obviously, I was very passionate about my feminist ideals at 12 or 13, so I decided to write off kegels forever! If I’m going to be strong, it’s going to be for me. Plus, let’s face it, vaginas are invincible, yo!

Have you ever seen the quote by Betty White,

Betty White at the Time 100 gala in 2010

“Why do people say “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.”

When she’s right, she’s right, folks.

Then this morning, I ran across this article on Facebook:”Stop Doing Kegels: Real Pelvic Floor Advice For Women (and Men).”Although I did read the article (it was mostly about pregnancy) I didn’t really need to. They had me at stop doing kegels, and the best part of the article was this quote by Katy Bowman, whose research influenced the article:

“Tighter does not equal stronger. It’s just tighter.”

See, even as a tween, I knew kegels weren’t the way to make me stronger.

Moral of the story? Put away your vaginal weights ladies, because apparently doing squats is really all you need to do to strengthen up your vagina errr pelvic floor. Plus, you’ll have really strong legs!

But ssshhh, don’t tell anyone!

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A Call to Action: Let’s Turn the Negatives into a Positive

Remember my Miss Bimbo post from last week? Well, I can’t let it go. I keep thinking about how I mention to Miss Bimbo, “You have a forum where you could actually do good. You could have real conversations about fashion and self-esteem, and make positive impressions. But instead you choose to perpetuate the hate and negativity that is plaguing our youth.” And guess what? I’m no better, just sitting around complaining and DOING NOTHING.

I hate it, by the way, when people do that, and believe me, I’m surrounded by it. So I’m seriously seriously hating myself for making a bunch of proclamations – bitching, if you will, and not taking action. Note to self: I deserve my own throat punch.

Luckily I am in a position to do something about this. So I have a proposition for you.

I would like to create a clearinghouse, of sorts. Help me stop the war on our youth, our women, our men, and our society, by finding just one website that is a positive influence or does something to create and or promote self-esteem, confidence, personal peace, and/or equality, and emailing it to me or posting it in the comments section. If every person who reads this post and actually does this, and maybe…just maybe, passes it on to one friend, we could do a LOT of good!

And that is basically where the proposition ends. We do good, your name, if you choose, gets added to the clearinghouse. Wouldn’t it be grand if we could build a site totally devoted to doing right by our children? Just leading people in the right direction.

What do you say? I know you want to join me. I don’t care about your political affiliation, your religious or spiritual background, the color of your skin, your sexual orientation, your sex, your country of origin, or how many pets you have. I will even take a link if you like cats. In fact, the more positive reflections from different backgrounds, the better!

Let’s see how many links we can collect by the end of May and turn this negativity into a positive force!