In Pursuit of Crazy Eyeris: Down but Not Out

So, here’s what happened.

I panicked.

Remember how I went to the first open practice and was less-than thrilled with my “skilz?”

Well, things went downhill from there. In the week between open practice one and two, shit got crazy for me. Nothing huge, but just a lot of little things that made it feel like this is NOT the right time to be freshmeat.

First of all, as awesome as it is to feel like my professional life is on the brink of blowing up, it causes an upheaval in our family, and it’s up to me, I guess, to get a hold on managing work, family, and our home on the daily.

Second of all, my kids got sick. And I got tired. And I got sick. And guess what? That was over two weeks ago, and I’m JUST pulling out of it. Which is totally unheard of for me. I just don’t get sick.

Lastly, and totally, completely most important, I cannot go into fresh meat workshops without any skills. I mean, know thyself, right? I expected this would be an issue for me when I decided to jump in with both skates before the end of the summer. I thought I could make it work, but I just can’t.

So I’m back to the original plan. I need to do a lot of hard work on/with/by myself before I can jump into this. And I need to soak up as much Derby as possible.

ILWR is holding open practices and workshops all summer. Unfortunately I can’t start workshops until the end of August, since I will be away when both of the other two workshops start. But I CAN go to open practice again starting April 18th, and there are several throughout the summer.

So, more confidence and strength training for me until then. And I have been to a practice, so I know what to expect, and I know where to go from here.

I feel like I can better manage this path. Too much is happening all at once and what is supposed to be a good thing fore was becoming a source of stress. Not cool.

I feel good about this, but I have been hesitant to write about Crazy Eyeris because in a way I feel embarrassed, and like I’m letting everyone down. Like I’m copping out. I still want to be an inspiration!

So go ahead ya’ll, give it to me straight.

In Pursuit of Crazy Eyeris: Ready for a Derby Girl Beating

My first open skating session before Freshmeat workshops begin is exactly one week away. ILWR offers two open skate sessions prior to Freshmeat workshops. During these sessions I will learn basics such as form, falls, stops, and strength training.

The next time I write about Crazy Eyeris, I will be heading off to skate that night. And now I’m more excited than nervous.

As you all know I’ve been worried about my skating (in)abilities, but of course you know I was pro-active about the situation.

Crazy Eyeris meets shit head-on, and she dares you to get in her way.

So we packed up our kidlets on Saturday, and drove an hour to a skating rink so I could skate.

It was pretty awesomeballz.

I fell once. Right on my ass. But I did not allow myself to be upset or embarrassed. Every one falls, and Crazy Eyeris doesn’t give a shit what anyone thinks.

But I can skate. Not what I would say well, but I can skate.

It was a little bit frustrating at first – there were a lot of really obnoxious kids bobbing and weaving in front of me the whole time. But that’s good practice, right? And soon enough, I left thoughts of prepping for derby behind and just had fun skating with my family.

I love the feeling of gliding along the floor. Controllably out of control.

The boy skated, and has been bitten by the skating bug. He wants to go back next week, which I think we will. Only three more years until he’s old enough for Junior Derby!!

I’m slowly but surely giving up the need to be super awesome the moment I arrive at the open skating next week. Just tryin’ to be real, it ain’t happening, and that’s okay.

And really, when I stop to think about it, the pure fact that I am doing this makes me super awesome. The ILWR skaters are kind and loving sisters who are going to kick my ass. Derby love.

Crazy Eyeris can’t wait to feel the love of a good derby girl beating.

In Pursuit of Crazy Eyeris – I’ve Got a Brand New Pair of Roller Skates!

Crazy Eyeris Riedell skates by Elaine Griffin DesignsWhen I was in high school I played the trumpet. Next to me sat Simon. Quiet, slightly shy, so super nice, amazing musician Simon. Simon, who is now a Grammy award-winner. Yeah!
Simon used to listen to his Walkman (who didn’t!) and would share what he was listening to. He introduced me to Melanie. He had an album-to-tape recording, which he happily passed on to me to copy. Classic! Ahhh, the good old days!
I’ve been singing “Brand New Key” around my house since Christmas, when my mother gave me the check to get skates. Ben hates me so much! Although now HE wants a pair of skates too.

Well, guess what Melanie?! I’ve got a brand new pair of roller skates too! And it came with a brand new key!
Let me tell you a little about these babies. They are fast. They are heavy. They are totally fucking AWESOME! When I brought them home I immediately put them on and started, well, I’m not going to go as far as to say I was rolling. I was more like balancing around. But within a few minutes I was wishing I had a little more runway than the ten feet across my kitchen floor. By the time I took them off, I felt more awkward out of them than I did in them. An amazing sign that I’m on the right path.
I think I might be in love. In love with leather and aluminum, silently working those muscles I didn’t even know I had.
And with that soreness, I’m totally pumped and motivated. Because that physical soreness is easing an emotional soreness that has been festering for too long.
I have to admit, though, behind all of this excitement I’m still really scared. Scared of not being able to skate well. Scared of not having any skillz at all. Scared of getting hurt. But part of why I want to write this series is to face these fears and meet this challenge helmet to helmet.
I need a battle cry.
Do you have a battle cry? A motto or affirmation you say to yourself when you are met with a challenge?

In Pursuit of Crazy Eyeris: Week 1

SufferJets Ithaca, by Shatterbug11
SufferJets Ithaca, by Shatterbug11

Whoo hoo! The first installment of the weekly series In Pursuit of Crazy Eyeris! I’m so excited!

Things are moving along SO FREAKING FAST!

When I decided to do this Derby thing, I thought I would get through the winter and then watch a lot of Derby in the summer, and then after the season I would try out.

No.

I’m starting workshops on FEBRUARY FREAKING 15TH!

The Ithaca League of Women Rollers (ILWR) has a new program where they offer clinics basically all year. HOLY HELL! So I sat. I thought. I decided. I’M NOT WAITING!

So I really need to get to this building my strength and endurance. I worked out on the elliptical this week, although not as much as I had wanted. Day one started on Wednesday, and miraculously, I was not sore the next day. I went hard on the elliptical on day two, and was a little sore the next day. I was so tired though, from waking up early with the baby, and to work. But I did manage to get on the elliptical and did an easy workout, stretched good, and then did some Wii dancing with the boy. This weekend proved a no-go with working out after yesterday’s bout with barfing. But today is not over, so maybe there is a chance! I have big plans to connect my Wii with my sister’s Wii in Georgia so we can dance together. At least there is that!

My quest for acquiring skates began this week too. I contacted the ILWR about purchasing used skates, and I need to go to Black Mamba Skate Shop in Syracuse to get fitted and see what they have and what advice they have. I just want to do that when I’m not getting mommed to death. Maybe next weekend?

This coming week I plan to continue on the elliptical and add some core strength exercises. I’m a little worried about my back, and I know the only way to protect it is to strengthen my core. And repair the abdominal muscles that were separated after I had the baby. I should have been doing that a long time ago!

What are your goals for the week?

Rock that body

Women exercising from Cornell University on Flickr
Women exercising from Cornell University on Flickr

When I began my blogging journey, I envisioned writing a series about body image and how as girls and eventually women, many of us lose sight of ourselves and our power. We cast our sight and our hatred on our bodies, as if they make up the whole of who we are. As if it is the sole reason for our failings.

We overwork our bodies. Under-rest them. Under-feed them. Under-nourish them. Overwhelm them. Over stress them. We tear them down, and we tear ourselves down.

I consider myself a feminist, whatever that means to you, whatever that means to your in whatever part of your life you are in. I have thought myself to be strong. But even the strongest woman may not be immune to body issues.

And I’ve documented it. So in thinking about my series about body issues, I have looked back in journals I wrote as a teen, and at pieces I wrote in my feminism and women’s studies classes in college. I’ve brainstormed. I’ve written some of this out. And as I proceed on my blogging journey, my idea of what MY blog IS, is more defined. As is my series.

Since, of course, I came to my decision to change my life, my health, and to train to try out for Roller Derby. Now that I have written it for the world to see, I am committed to myself and everyone else to getting into shape and trying out for Derby. My readers – my family members and dear friends, new and old – have been overwhelmingly supportive. It seems I may have inspired some of you to at least think about – if not conquer – reclaiming yourself, or finding something that is YOU and doing it.

And so, I have decided that my weekly series will be entitled “In Pursuit of Crazy Eyeris,” and will tack all of the above-mentioned subjects. Body image. Personal power. Personal training and getting healthy. How much my poor chubby ass is probably going to hurt tomorrow after 20 hard minutes on the elliptical today. How I can’t pick up my baby because I attempted too much arm work. You know, the good, the bad, and the ugly. And the beautiful, the powerful, and the exciting.

Here is a video of my current theme song, The Shrillex Remix of the Black Eyed Peas “Rock that Body.” You’re welcome!

I’m ready for the challenge. Will you join me?