On Kegels, Vagina Dentata, Vaginal Weights, and Squats

I was probably 12 or 13 when Cosmopolitan Magazine first taught me about my pelvic floor. Well, more accurately, they taught me about kegels, and how all women should be doing them to strengthen their pelvic floor, and also their vaginas! A pelvic floor should be strong. And so should our vaginas!

Shhhh, don’t tell anyone, but a strong vagina is the secret to pleasing YOUR MAN!!

Wait, what? Like, Vagina Dentata?

No, that would be too scary! Plus that is just some sort of weird, paranoid male fantasy and/or guilt complex.

Although I do find Vagina Dentata fascinating in a witnessing  a horrific accident kind of way. Have you ever seen the movie “Teeth?” It’s a gem – run, don’t walk to find it on Netflix today!

Anyway…

Obviously, I was very passionate about my feminist ideals at 12 or 13, so I decided to write off kegels forever! If I’m going to be strong, it’s going to be for me. Plus, let’s face it, vaginas are invincible, yo!

Have you ever seen the quote by Betty White,

“Why do people say “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.”

When she’s right, she’s right, folks.

Then this morning, I ran across this article on Facebook:”Stop Doing Kegels: Real Pelvic Floor Advice For Women (and Men).”Although I did read the article (it was mostly about pregnancy) I didn’t really need to. They had me at stop doing kegels, and the best part of the article was this quote by Katy Bowman, whose research influenced the article:

“Tighter does not equal stronger. It’s just tighter.”

See, even as a tween, I knew kegels weren’t the way to make me stronger.

Moral of the story? Put away your vaginal weights ladies, because apparently doing squats is really all you need to do to strengthen up your vagina errr pelvic floor. Plus, you’ll have really strong legs!

But ssshhh, don’t tell anyone!