Usually at the start of the New Year I have been planning and plotting my goals, and am super amped to start the New Year off right. We all know how that goes for most people. I wouldn’t say I fizzle, really. I always keep my eye on the prize. But things never work out exactly as planned, and unfortunately I’m pretty unrealistic about how much one person can accomplish in any given amount of time.
For some reason, this year, I didn’t even give my goals a single thought. Maybe it was because I was trying to live in the moment with my children and family. Maybe it’s because I’m so fucking tired of plotting and planning. Worrying and…worrying. I just don’t have it in me to be amped. All I have is enough for me to moving forward. Cautiously optimistic.
Like many bloggers, I really wanted to write about all of the fabulous goals I have for myself. I have pondered what I would say in this post for several days, and basically I had come up with nothing until I sat down to write it. I was going to write about how I have no goals!
But that is not completely true. Of course I have goals, but nothing I want to really write about. None of them have any deep meaning. They are not particularly life changing. They are just regular old career, family, and healthy living goals. Boring.
As I began thinking through having no exciting goals to write about, and as I thought over my brainstorming process in the last week it became very clear that my number one goal should be to just keep moving forward. Keep a positive attitude. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Keep swinging at all the shit that is thrown my way. Dig out from the trenches when I get buried. Move forward. Onward. Upward.
It was a trifecta of signs that helped lead me to my goal. First of all, on New Year’s Day, I think on Headline News, they had some ‘expert’ talking about how you should identify only a couple of goals for the New Year, and those goals should be taken at most a week at a time. They should also include some room for setbacks. I think this is so obvious that it’s one of those things that needs to be spelled out for people. We are so hard on ourselves. We don’t give ourselves any breathing room to make mistakes, learn, grow.
The second sign was from a vlog post by Audra Silva where she describes her one word goal for the New Year: Intention. While I could relate to her goal to live with intention as a way to accomplish goals rather than abandoning them, what really struck me was the simplicity of having one word to describe how you would like to live your life. One word, one goal, to live with intention.
The last sign was yesterday, and the one that after some thought really lead me to identify moving forward as my number one goal, came from my friend Jenn in response to a post on Facebook. I had posted “I’m still trying to decide what my 2013 goals are. What are yours?” The conversation went like this:
Jenn: “I have always been terrible with goals. Or planning my future. I kind of just take it as it comes and if I want something to happen I just make it happen. Usually semi-spontaneously. Good luck with yours!”
Me: “I think that is why I’m having a hard time. I just need to keep trucking along!”
Jenn: “Some people do not need goals to get/do what they want. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”
And you know, she is totally right. Not just about goals, but the fact that I didn’t even realize I was beating myself up over it. I was stressing over not being able to identify unrealistic goals. How lame.
The afterthought of all of this comes from the Jason Mraz song, “I’m Yours.” I’m brought back to this song a lot in my life, for a lot of reasons, but in this case it’s the line, “Open up your plans, and damn, you’re free!”
As a planner and plotter who gets bogged down in the ‘what-if’s’ and ‘what’s next’s’ this is something that had not come easily, but hopefully in 2013 I will be able to open up my plans and keep moving forward.