Taxidermy, pink hearts, nose warmers, gator-feet, vampire slaying, and the zombie apocalypse on Etsy

Halloween Zombies by Elaine Griffin Designs
Yeah, we were zombies for Halloween!!

As I start writing this, I’ve been up since 11:30 pm because of the baby. It’s 3:00 am and she has more energy than I don’t even know what right now. What.the.hell. We’ve watched Dora. Lots and lots of Dora. If that isn’t enough to make anyone madd under normal circumstances, I don’t know what is.

I would not have indulged in Grey’s Anatomy and gone to bed at the late hour of 10:00 had I known what was in store for me.

I tell you all this just to give you a sense of where I’m at.

Which is why I’m cruising the interwebz while the baby empties the tv cabinet of DVD’s and generally destroys our living room. I give up. I don’t have it in me tonight. This morning. Whatever.

I never get to surf the interwebz just for fun and entertainment anyway. So thank you, baby, for seeing that I really needed this time. And what’s more, I’m going to bring you the top five most radical things I find on Etsy! Plus a bonus at the end for those of you bracing for the zombie apocalypse! You’re so welcome!

Did you know taxidermy existed on Etsy? Sheep brain. Fetal pig. Bats. No words.

I’m all about supporting artists and small business. Believe me. I am one. But let me give you a little advice, people. If you want paper punches, go to your local craft or fabric store, buy some cardstock and some punches, and punch to your hearts delight. It doesn’t take any kind of skill at all.

It never occurred to me that teens/tweens/women needed crocheted nose warmers. Why didn’t I realize this? DUH.

Gator foot back scratcher! Why the hell not!?

This one is for my mom. MOM, I AM SO GETTING YOU THIS FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY! I HOPE YOU MAKE IT UNTIL THEN!

For all of you prepping for the zombie apocolypse, I’m going to keep my eyes open for a zombie slaying kit for you. No probs. Until then, here you go, a print of zombie rules.

Oh yeah, happy Friday the 13th!

Dancing, crying, flying monkeys and the Kathryn Ingrid award

Kathryn Ingrid Creativity AwardThe Kathryn Ingrid Creativity Award is seriously making the rounds! And now we finally have a graphic! If you need it, take it, or email me and I will send it to ya!

I’m proud to say I’m receiving this award from Emily from Coffee and Spellcheck. Check out her blog – she is awesome! One of the tasks of receiving these types of awards is to tell more about yourself. So here goes, my list of seven totally awesome things about me.

I don’t have anything against hunting, but it freaks me out. And I’m afraid to eat venison. Even though I know where the rest of my food comes from, and I know it’s way creepier, it’s still the norm for me.

Umpa Loompas, flying monkeys, and moths. Deathly afraid.

I dance and sing anywhere I want. If I feel it, I do it. I really don’t care what anyone else thinks. And this is probably one of the only times I don’t care what people think.

I have inappropriate emotions when I get overwhelmed with joy. I cry at parades. I cry sometimes when I hear Christmas music. This morning, in fact, I cried when I heard Barry Manilow’s version of Jingle Bells.

I used to call Barry Manilow Mary Manilow. And I love James Taylor more than anyone should, I think.

I don’t like breakfast food. Sometimes I like to have breakfast – maybe once a week? But that is pushing it. And I try to plan it, but I really don’t like and don’t believe in breakfast for dinner. So I save that for everyone else to have if I’m out during dinner.

When I’m rich I will travel. I will have a beautiful home on the beach. I will also have a classic mustang, a motorcycle, and a boat. I will hire someone to clean my house, but I will do the cooking. And I will buy whatever ingredients I want to make super-fabu meals.

I guess these aren’t too weird, right? But they are totally awesome! How about ya’ll? Do you have anything you want to disclose? Have at it!

When did Macy’s buy Justin Bieber?

I’m not going to sit here and lie to you. I’m not going to tell you that I didn’t enjoy the Justin Bieber Black Friday ad during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. I did, and I laughed. Every one of the one hundred times they played it. If you haven’t seen it, here it is. If you have seen it, please enjoy it again. You’re welcome.

I even kind of enjoyed the “All I Want for Christmas” video. But kinda I didn’t. Watch it, and then we can discuss.

First of all, when did Macy’s buy Justin Bieber?

Second of all, who was in charge of this project? And why did they forget that Mariah Carey is 41 and Justin Bieber 17? Don’t get me wrong here, because I’m not trying to slam Mariah Carey. She’s still hot. But shaking your ass to a 17 year-old is just…inappropriate. And weird. And inappropriate. And I don’t know about you, but I’m sitting here doing some super fancy math and my counting fingers tell me that if there were some very unfortunate and also inappropriate situations, she is bordering on being old enough to be his grandmother. Extreme, I know, but almost true.

Am I totally off base here?

I want to thank Nicole from her social network for bringing this to my attention! Go check out what she had to say about it!

Please, do NOT let this happen to you: part deux

I know you all remember this post a couple of weeks ago, which discussed fashion week and the resurgence of wearing pajamas as clothes. I feel like I’ve done a huge injustice to men. I should have been more specific and let them know it meant them too!

It never occurred to me until this morning, when I came across this:

Ryan Gossling fashion faux paux
Ryan Gossling wears jammie shirts!

Ryan Gossling, bringin’ jammie shirts back!

Okay. I am not going to reiterate why this is a bad, bad, bad idea. But I DO have a special message for Ryan Gossling.

Dear Ryan. Dear, DEAR Ryan. You have legions of women just lusting after the passion you bring. Don’t blow it by wearing jammie shirts! Like, EVER! You don’t have to wear shirts at all!

Thank you, Laine.

And you are welcome, ladies. I’m sure Ryan is going to hear my message loud and clear, and you should expect to see him shirtless all the time very soon!

Parade Passion!

Ithaca Festival Happiness
Parades are my secret passion!

I know this sounds really silly, but I am passionate about parades. I am so passionate about them, in fact, that they make me cry when I see them. No joke, if I wasn’t embarrassed and I let myself, I would cry my eyes out with happiness during parades. And in fact, I have. My husband and I joke that parades make me inappropriately emotional. It’s true. And forget about it if there is someone or some group in the parade that is overcoming some sort of adversity. I’m done for! I want to run right out in the street and hug them and slobber all over their shoulders.

I have two favorite parades, and neither one of them are the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. I do enjoy the tradition of it though; hanging out and making food and having the parade on in the background.

“Mom, mom! Hurry! Spiderman is coming!”

Or, “Ben, get in here! Justin Bieber is about to sing!” (Don’t get too excited folks, I doubt the Biebs is going to be in the parade this year.) Okay, so maybe the Thanksgiving Parade IS in fact one of my favorites.

That means my OTHER two favorite parades are the Ithaca Festival Parade and the Happiness Parade at the Finger Lakes Grassroots Festival.

The Ithaca Festival Parade is the kick-off to the Ithaca Festival, which is an annual music and art event. This parade draws not only a huge crowd, but also a very diverse lineup. Think Volvo Ballet and Chainsaw Marching Band.

Volvo Ballet
Volvo Ballet
Chainsaw Marching Band
Chainsaw Marching Band

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is some of the best happiness you will ever experience.

That is, until a little later in the summer when you are met with the Happiness Parade.

Happiness Parade at Grassroots
Happiness Parade at Grassroots

This parade takes place on Saturday afternoon of the festival, at 3:00, which actually always turns out to be about 4:00. This is very close to the height of the festival, while people are still happy and before they are totally burned out. Basically people who want to march gather and dress up in crazy outfits, or paint their boobs, or do nothing special at all, and march around the festival grounds being happy and playing instruments. The only point to this is to just be happy. And make me happy it does. To the point of tears.

I am passionate about parades because people gathering in common happiness, peacefulness, and joy is enchanting to me. It is a very special piece of humanity that I love.

My son’s cause – bring back the voting machine!

I voted stickerI love voting. In fact, Election Day is one of the most exciting days of the year for me.  When I was a child my parents used to take me with them to vote. I looked forward to being welcomed to our polling place by the town retirees, who know everyone’s name and who sit and drink coffee and snack, and happily chat with each other and voters alike. They chat about what’s new in the last year, the weather, voter turnout, and general light-hearted gossip.

I would carefully watch as my mother thoughtfully pushed the buttons, making her choice, and making her voice heard. When she was finished I eagerly pulled the lever to open the curtain and actually cast the vote! Excitement! It’s such a special feeling to have voted.

Of course we have been taking our son to vote since he was a baby. In the last couple of years I have let him help me push the buttons and of course pull the lever to cast the vote. He is really proud to have voted for Barack Obama, and is looking forward to another presidential election.

Last night was supposed to be no exception to his voting history, and the thought of voting was actually more exciting because at home AND at school he had been discussing voting for two days. He could barely contain himself and ran out the door to get in the car almost as soon as his dad got home. Kid loves to vote so off we went!

We were met at the door by detention-style cubbies, signs stating something along the lines of, “No political discussions,” and an official-looking man standing next to a pile of legal-length folders who said, “Here, put your ballot in this folder so no one can see who you voted for.”

Buzz kill. Paper ballots.

Ahh, man, they suck so bad!

So, we almost reluctantly signed in (with people who don’t know us and didn’t want to chat), received our ballots, and found cubbies. Ben looked on as I tried to sort out the confusing mess of a ballot and filled in the circles. Confused, and with the wind stolen from our sails, we walked over to the machine to cast our ballot. This he was able to do, but he still had issues.

“Mom, where are the other machines?”

“I guess we don’t use them anymore. I saw this coming, but it’s still such a bummer, I’m sorry buddy.”

“Tell those people to get the old machines back!”

“Honey, they know we want them back. But they can’t do anything about it. The government has decided this is how we should vote.”

“Well, we need to tell the government to get them back!”

At this point, I’m ushering him out of our polling place.

As we pull in the driveway he is still talking about contacting the government. He gets out of the car and starts to cry and runs to the house. This has gone too far. No one should cry on Election Day! At least wait for the results to roll in!

I kneel down and take the poor kid by the shoulders.

“Look at me. Next year YOU are going to vote! You are going to vote for President!”

“How am I going to do that?”

“Well, because you will be bigger, and big enough to help fill in those circles!”

“Okay!”

Big smiles, big hugs, and crisis averted. Kinda.

I’m still feeling a little ripped off this morning. But I’m still feeling ripped off about the extinction of card catalogs, so there you have it.

And at least they still gave us “future voter” and “I voted today” stickers.

How many of you voted yesterday?  When you vote do you take your children?

Sunday is for FOOTBALL!

I’m a girl who likes, no, loves football. I have a husband who does not. He likes the Super Bowl, but by the time pre-season is over, he is generally done watching football. But he loves the food I cook to celebrate football, so he doesn’t complain much. Even when I cook healthy football food.

My favorite team is the Redskins, which means I am constantly disapointed. But I keep up hope the way I wish the Redskins would keep up the good fight.

Do you or your family watch football? If so, what is your favorite team?

She Said, He Said: Our Favorite Movies

She said:

Elf – “Buddy the Elf, what’s your favorite color?”

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation – CLASSIC! Christmas time or summer, always a good watch.

The Big Chill – Best soundtrack EVER!

The Thorn Birds – EPIC!

Object of My Affection – “Chin up, young person!” Best pick-me-up through the cry movie.

Any Given Sunday – Great cast, great story, perfect cinematography.

Urban Cowboy – I still want to look like Deborah Winger in a halter top and cowgirl hat.

Saturday Night Fever – Nobody does it like John Travolta!

School of Rock – Because it just rocks.

Gone with the Wind – If you ask my mother in law how she liked a movie, her response will be, “well, it wasn’t Gone with the Wind…”

He said:

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas- Just a good trip with upstanding, hard-working Americans like myself!

The Bourne Identity- Not sure why?? It’s just a movie I have to watch if it’s on.

The Last Starfighter- A childhood dream come true.

Se7en- Hats off (or should I say Heads off) to Brad Pitt for the ending scene.

Strange Days- The ability to experience anything. Isn’t that really the ultimate use of one’s life?

Reservoir Dogs- Star-studded cast and unforgettable images.

American History X- Ed Norton is the man. Come on…

From Dusk til Dawn- Cool, scary, and beautiful.

A Clockwork Orange- Takes me back to a time when…

The Hangover- Hilarious and fun!!!